Not why? What.

Forget about asking why things are disorganized or cluttered.
The why answers usually lead backwards (and you’re not going that way),
or they involve  opportunities to beat yourself up about your past behaviors.
(Put down that stick)

Instead ask what?
What are the results I’m looking to achieve?
What can I do differently so the mail doesn’t pile up?
The clothes get put away?
The dishes end up in the dishwasher?

What questions give you a chance to think in terms of actions and results.
You are still taking responsibility for making changes and 
initiating different behaviors,
but you are doing it from a place of looking ahead and moving forward.

As they say, “There is a reason windshields are larger than rear view mirrors.”